6 Quick Tips to Bring More Joy into Your Holiday
It’s no secret that the holidays can be stressful for many of us. We create high expectations, we want to please others, and we are often surrounded by lots of people and crowds.
Yet, the holidays are a time when we can really increase of sense of connection, of joy and happiness, if we set that intention.
So these are 6 quick tips that you can put into practice RIGHT AWAY so you can have a more joyful and peaceful holiday!
TIP 1: Take care of YOUR ENERGY first.
Because there is so much to do, and so many people to please, and so many things to arrange, it’s easy to let go of our routines that keep us grounded and balanced. During this time is SUPER important that you KEEP and STICK to those routines.
For example: If you meditate every morning (like me), then keep doing that. If you exercise, then do that, if you take time to listen to music, keep doing the things that keep you grounded.
Eat a good breakfast, hydrate properly and sleep as much as you can. Taking care of our physical energy is one way to make sure that we have a stronger reservoir of emotional resilience.
TIP 2: Bring an energy of JOY & Positivity
Realize that you can change the energy of the room! YES YOU!
You simply need to set the intention to do so. So pull out your tunes, get in the spirit, and show up with an energy of joy and positivity.
Recall those things that bring you joy and happiness. If you can make time to participate in those activities.
And if all else fails, then SMILE AND DO A SUPERMAN/ SUPERWOMAN stance for at least 1 minute. You will see how much a physical shift can begin an emotional shift.
TIP 3: Take little “Time-outs”
Often during the holidays we are “forced” to spend time with friends and loved ones for long periods of time. And often our energy gets drained and we begin to get cranky without noticing it.
Things are different than you are used to, and this is putting pressure in your energy body, which will begin to cause de-stabilization in your emotional presence.
Maybe its’ to many people, or perhaps too much constant noise…this will be intensified if you are an INTROVERT. So…make sure you build in little “time outs” or “mini-vacations”…let your family and friends know that once in a while you may need to go for a walk ALONE, or that you may need to take a nap, etc.
If this feels hard to do…then look for excuses to go someplace else…”I need to get more ice.”…or “I need to run to the pharmacy…” or anything else that suits your fancy. The idea is that you build yourself some time where you can get away ON YOUR OWN, so you can re-charge.
Just be sure you are firm in saying NO when others offer to “keep you company” if you don’t really want it.
And if you are an EXTROVERT…then pay attention when a friend or family member requests this, and HONOR THEM…don’t make them feel bad or guilty for needing time alone or needing to recharge their energies.
They will be MUCH happier and much more pleasant when they get back. Promise!
TIP 4: Communicate your Boundaries & Expectations Clearly
This is a big one…without this, we open ourselves up to all kinds of stress, hurt and disappointment. This can be done in a casual light-hearted manner.
For example, this year, my partner and I are spending the holidays with BOTH of our families together! We are excited and they have only met once…about 15 years ago when we got married…and they are very different.
So one of the things I said to both families was: “I’m so excited that we will get to spend this time together. I know it can be difficult to get 9 people to do the same thing, so I just want us all to have a great time. So I have no expectation that we need to be doing stuff together all the time at all. In fact, feel free to do your own thing. The only thing I’d like to see happen is that we have dinner together each night. ” They both felt that was super reasonable.
So for you it may be different things, think about what really matters to you and communicate that.
It involves 3 main things:
- Communicating your Expectations Clearly
- Let them know what you’d like to see happen or what really matters to you and see if they can agree to that.
- Respect if they can’t meet them.
- Come up with a compromise.
- Knowing your Personal Boundaries
- Equally they should be able to ask for whatever they want and need. However you may not feel comfortable meeting them.
- So be sure you let them know whether their request is reasonable and you are willing to do it.
- If you are not. Let them know it! (you can say something like: “I understand that is important to you, I love you very much and I’d like to be able to do that for you, AND at this time I’m not able to do that. What if I…”(and offer a compromise.)
- Come up with a compromise.
- Be clear about what you are willing to do and not do.
- Say NO without Guilt or Regret
- This is an art and I know that it may take practice and effort from many of you. However, this is imperative for you to have a lovely and joyful holiday.
- We feel most frazzled when we agree to do something that is out of alignment or that overextends ourselves and then we can get resentful and angry. You don’t want to do that do you?
- So...start with stating how much you love and care about them (this is important so they feel validated, and also so that they can’t pull the “if you loved me you’d…” card.
- Then indicate that you can’t do that at the moment. You can give an explanation but it’s not necessary. You can decide. It could be as simple as “NO thank you, I will do this instead.” or “I really appreciate you thinking of me, AND I actually rather do x,y,z…I know it will be better for me, and then I can be in a better mood later…” or “I love you so much, and I really wish I could help you right now, AND currently I’m not able to. (If you want to suggest an alternate time, or day you can, but its also not necessary if you don’t want to.)
- Remember that relationships are built on a platform of love and trust. The more we give into a relationship the more it grows. And this doesn’t mean you always have to.
- Assure yourself and surround yourself with others that will affirm your choices.
TIP 5: Focus on “What’s Going Well?” as opposed to “What’s going Wrong?”
We are wired to be paying attention when things are wrong so we can take action and fix them. However in these situations we can get overly focused on the STUFF, and completely lose sight that the most important thing are our experiences and connecting with PEOPLE.
LET GO OF PERFECTIONISM
There’s a myth that perfection will lead to high achievement…and it never does. It keeps you locked in a sea of confusion, dissatisfaction, and a focus on what’s wrong that never seems to leave you. Decide that it’s time to say bye, bye to the perfectionist inside of you and instead embrace the “loving side of you”.
If the cake didn’t turn out the way you wanted it…or if the entire dinner was botched…you can order pizza and then just laugh it off while having a great time with your friends and family. But if you make a HUGE deal about the little things, then everyone will remember that not only the dinner was a bust, but that YOU made the entire evening terrible for everyone. And no one wants that!
Remember is not the things that happen that determine our happiness. It’s what we choose to do with them and how we handle it all. Life is to be enjoyed and appreciated, not stressed over.
So…set the intention to have FUN! To focus on What is going Well? and to keep bringing the spark of joy, laughter and lightness to any situation.
TIP 6: Don’t take things Personally
Ah…last but not least…
Remember that most people will have higher energy running through them…and they might be more likely to get cranky or disappointed, or do or say something rude.
The best thing to do is NOT to take things personally. Recognize that they may be having a rough day, whether you know it or not, and that the less of a big deal you make of it, the faster everyone will return to baseline.
My mom used to say this to me and it has always stuck with me: “Remember the one who gets angry is the one who loses.”
I think it’s interesting to think of this way, but in a sense if you get angry, you lose composure and you lose your emotional stability. Then you have to work hard to regain it. So if someone is rude, or mean, or disrespectful…You can let them know they are doing that, you can remove yourself from the situation or tell them that if they can talk to you in a respectful manner, that you’ll wait until they have calmed themselves to hear them out, (and leave), or simply change the conversation and move on with your day.
Find a time later on to address it 1-1 if you feel it’s necessary but above all, CHOOSE to set the intention that NO ONE CAN ruin your fun and enjoyment.
Enjoy your Holidays!
If you want to delve deeper into these concepts and learn how you can MANAGE all of your ENERGY (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually), I have a course called “Quantum Leap Your Results” that will guide you through practical exercises to master your focus, your mindset & your productivity. You can check it out here.